Monday, February 07, 2005

shut up, kaen

too much
too hard
too loud too often
too much
too misled
too wrong too often

shh
shh
breathe
and shut up
and listen.

___
my brain's been racing,
indie 500 in my skull.

talking so much shit,
doing so much shit,
thinking so much shit:
what to do
how have i done it
how am i doing it
how should i be doing it
over and over and over
and over again
oi.
no wonder i'm popping
aspernol like a fiend.

shh brain, shh
take a breath,
shh brain
take a breath
and it can all go away
to become the universe,
clean
real
and quiet.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Are you ready to sit in your silence and just listen?
It IS a daunting task. Most people cannot handle the silence.

Jer.

ladykaen said...

well, thing is... especially when i'm drunk, i get all manic-like, alive and happy and whoo! full of stories, and i can really go off and just blahblahblahblahblahblah. the first 'poem' was written after one such night. but then i have to remember that my memory's inaccurate, tainted by insecurity. i'll remember myself as a loudmouth and i'll call friends to apologize and they'll think i'm insane because they remember me as just laughing and chatting along, rather charming and fun actually.

so: yes, i'm up to the task, and can listen fabulously well. but i also have to be less hard on myself and allow my social self to roam free and share...

delicate balance, right?

Nutana said...

re: caring and sharing and bloggin

To err is human,
To share is divine,
So mistakes I make
Are ours,
Not mine!

- Rose L. Korotkin, Saturday Evening Post Society

Love from da wet coast
xox

ladykaen said...

hey thanks Colin - for the quote and for popping in. i'm realizing how lonely this whole blogging thing can be! i don't think i really had any comments all last month, and it gets one to thinkin there's nobody out there. (yea yea, silly me)

your quote reminded me of a hilarious quote from a great play i saw last week (whistle in the dark, by The Company Theatre). an alcoholic character is sharing a quote his uncle or something taught him that he holds to heart:

"homo es errata"
"oh yea, what's that mean?"
"truth in wine"

beautiful.

Fist of Trueness said...

Good rhythm to this one. It beats really well. Anxiety is always a good subject for abstract description.

I've been away for a bit, and I am glad to see that you're still writing your prose here. And your journal entries too. I enjoy them as well!

Keep on keepin' on, sister.